Titus 2
11For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, 12training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, 13 waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works.
The grace of God, when it takes root in our life, teaches us to renounce ungodliness. In other words, it integrates the word "NO" into our lives as it pertains to our worldly passions. I think that counselors do well to try to help people find ways to change, however we cannot lose sight of the focus of this passage. And no, the focus is not a person saying "no" to sin. Saying "no" is a biproduct of the focus. The focus is the grace of God. And this, I believe, references Christ. Specifically according to the perspective that Christ came to establish God's people - the Church...the chosen people whom God's grace has reconciled, established a relationship, and called to holiness. God's grace teaches us the points in this passage. And this grace is personal. The Biblical counselor's first priority is the aid in a the counselee's relationship with God. The Spirit is real. He really does work in people. We don't have to take His place in order to make things work. But we can help people grow in grace. Sometimes this edification comes in the form of helping people establish disciplines in their life. But we cannot do so in a way that would replace grace with guilt. I.e., a person cannot discipline himself to the point where his religion is formed around the idea that if he touches the unclean thing God no longer accepts him. He IS reconciled. Therefore BE reconciled (2 Corinthians 5:16-21). "Be who you are" rather than "try to attain something that you should be." Spiritual disciplines are initiated by grace unto godliness, they do not attain grace by godliness. I believe it is easy and typical for counselors to blur the lines between these two thoughts. The old has gone, the new is here! Offer hope upon grace, rather than a burden upon burdens.