As a typical evangelical Christian, you’ve always heard it preached “your faith will reveal itself through your works!” You’ve always wanted to be the kind of person who did more. You wish you were more unconventional and stuck your neck out in tough situations. You’ve been longing for more – more joy in your service, more motivation to initiate good works unto the Glory of God, and a greater sense of the bountiful harvest around you that is waiting to be reaped. You wish you cared more. But the hard fact is – you don’t. You aren’t the person you wish you were. When you do serve, there’s little fulfillment in it. It’s not very effective work, as it pretty much dies with the day, and the types of services that you participate in are pretty easy and require little initiative. It’s been a while since you’ve led a soul to Christ, and when you did your soul did not throw much of a party, and you never heard from that person again. You cannot say you really participated in the great commission as you never put forth effort to create a disciple. You just created a Christian, and who knows what that means anymore.
Now you have this acquaintance. Perhaps it’s an atheist, or a Muslim, or an agnostic, or a Mormon. You know they do not believe a Biblical Gospel. But it seems like their life looks more like a Gospel life than yours. They are always involved in other people’s lives. They are always there for their friends. They are the first ones to cry with someone who is hurt. They tend to the pain of others. They are the ones who are the most concerned when even you are experiencing trouble, and will willingly come to your aid and provide their version of genuinely supportive counsel. They seem to be fulfilled when they have an opportunity to make a difference in someone’s life.
Right now you are probably taking this a direction that would include motives, intentions, and goals. And this, though it may be true, is not the direction I wish to take this. It is important to understand this: that we are made in God’s image. While sin has severely marred this image, we are still capable of loving. But the fact that we CAN love is not the issue. The issue is, what value is that love? Is it a detriment to the Gospel to say that an unsaved person can genuinely love his neighbor as himself and treat him that way?
I answer this question with a “no.”
In fact, an unbeliever could actually live a more impressive life than a redeemed individual, even though the redeemed are the ones who alone receive the Spirit’s enablement for redeemed daily living. Does this imply a weak Holy Spirit? Again, “no.” It implies weak faith among the redeemed. It implies lives that do not capitalize on the Spirit’s enablement due to fear and a sense of weakness. This is due to lives lived according to a false Gospel wherein we possess all available power within our flesh and bones to accomplish eternal work. Though we hear different every Sunday and shout our Amen’s to the proclamation of God’s almighty power, when we get to the grind, we buckle under the pressure and abandon hope in the One who sustains us.
Which gets me to my point. How is it that an unbeliever’s works are seen as unworthy, but the works of the redeemed, though perhaps weak in faith and less potent, are considered worthy? What if you did the exact same works as the atheist or the Muslim? When you stood up before God side-by-side with that unbeliever, what compels Him to choose you rather than him?
One word: Association.
And this is what hurts pride. When God accepts you, He is accepting Christ. He is not accepting you because of you or anything you’ve done or said. He is accepting you because of your ASSOCIATION. You are guilt-free by association. It’s a liberating thought to know that it doesn’t matter what you do, you are never going to be a better person to God. You don’t have to try. You left to yourself are, and always will be, putrid. So claim your stench as a person. But claim God’s love in Christ. He loved you and chose you even though you are offensive. The only way we can truly be liberated from the pressure of having to make ourselves into something good is to admit that we will NEVER make ourselves into something good no matter how hard we try. We will never make up for or cover our own offensiveness. But with that, as we are in Christ, we will NEVER be rejected. We are now righteous because of Christ’s cleansing blood. Those who stand up against us and look better are still guilty because they are associated with only themselves and themselves alone, leaving them very alone. They stand before God with all their good deeds, but they mean nothing to God. They provide no atoning influence on God’s wrath. Christ was sent as the atonement, taking God’s wrath so we could be free from it. What more do you want?
So stop living a heresy. You are not making yourself a better person. It’s not going to happen! Suck it up, humble yourself, and find liberating rest in your ASSOCIATION rather than yourself. This will give you the drive to live an eternally successful life. Stop looking for inspiration in 140 characters or less, self help books, exciting preaching, or magazines to drive you to be a better person. People looking for employment hate this reality, but for eternity it’s actually a good thing: “It’s all about who you know, not your resume.” So don’t live like you have to bring your accomplishments to God. That hasn’t worked for anyone…ever. Let Christ bring you to God. And with that, read John 17. What better authority than the testimony of our Great High Priest?
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately on the matter of prayer. I know it is far more important than it has been in my life lately, and I feel continually challenged. Let me start at the beginning of my journey:
Making the Bible relevant to today’s culture has relatively little to do with the music we sing or the methods we use. Relevant Christianity is believing that the God who involved Himself with the Patriarchs is the same God who involves Himself in our lives today. The Jesus that called and worked in and through the lives of the 12 disciples is the same Jesus that calls and works in and through us today. The same Holy Spirit that made apostles out of common men is the same Holy Spirit that transforms common men into bold witnesses today. This is Biblical relevance: God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Our application of this relevance is found in our prayers. Much of the work God did through both the patriarchs and the disciples was rather unreasonable. Many of the expectations God placed upon His people have been unreasonable. Take a series of miracles Jesus performed: fed the 5k, walked on water, calmed the water, fed the 4k, did many healings therein. But at the feeding of the 4k the disciples still didn’t get it. Jesus says “are you yet without understanding?” Our problem is, we want to understand according to human terms before having spiritual faith. We want some sort of reasonableness in our leap. We want to have a list of ways God could work it out. When the disciples doubted, it wasn’t that they were doubting Christ specifically. They were just thinking with natural minds which naturally doubt what they cannot see. And Christ rebuked them as though they were forsaking the obvious – and they were.
But we somehow justify the disciple-ness of our prayers…we neglect to be bold in asking for unreasonable things. Consider the syro-phonecian woman who asked Christ to heal her child. Christ said “no, the children need fed first. Why should I give to the dogs what is reserved for the children?” But even though the woman agreed that her request was unreasonable – Christ was the Jews’ Messiah. But she still asked, even though 1. Her request was unreasonable, and 2. Christ already said no. She had the boldness and humility to expect Christ to do something unreasonable, even after hearing “no.” This is a faithful prayer. This is a prayer coming from someone who knows far more of Christ than one who can only bring himself to request things that he finds to be reasonable.
Bringing it back to relevance, I’ve been continually challenged that even in my life, no matter how common I am, God is not limited. He still wants us to trust that He is the same God to us that did unreasonable things to those we sanctify in the Bible. They were all common men who would have no place in history if it were not for God’s work in their lives. And we would have no place in His future if it weren’t for His work in us, and because of who He is, we can be free to ask for what is unreasonable and know that He will fulfill it unto His glory. The only two reasons we have not is that 1. We don’t ask, or 2. We ask amiss – we ask stupidly and selfishly. I don’t think God is in the business of saying no all the time. We’re just faithless. We’d see a lot more yeses if we’d just ask and know that God is more desirous of His glory than we are, and more desirous to bring men to Christ than we are. More desirous to build His church than we are. More desirous to build up Christians (like us) than we are. More desirous to build up families than we are. You get the idea. The prayer of submission. Why can’t we even ask for those unreasonable things that we already know are his will? Like for our family to visibly grow in grace? For our local church to grow in grace?
Not to mention (funny…I’m mentioning it) that God rarely does things in a way that we had already mapped out ourselves. This often is a key point on which we lose faith. We didn’t see an answer, so obviously God must be silent, right? Or perhaps you’re not seeing the answer because you’re only looking down one hallway, when God worked it out down another hallway. Instead of listening for Him plainly, we listened for noise in the hallway that we thought He’d do His work in. Even if we hear noise somewhere else, we will not turn to look because of our self-imposed sovereignty. Therefore we never turned to look and see that God did the work somewhere and perhaps somehow differently than according to our prognosis. And sometimes God works in a hallway in a completely different building, so we will never see it. Just because that person didn’t get saved during your time of influence doesn’t mean they’ll never get saved. You just won’t see it happen. We too easily lose hope in what we can’t see. We too often lose hope because we impose our sense of complete comprehension upon a sovereign God.
And sometimes the answer is indeed “no” and will never see a “yes.” Does God not exist? Or does God hate us? No. Rather, though we do not understand why, these times are times in which we are to submit.
Too many people have left the faith or given up on prayer merely because they have prayed falsely. Many nominal Christians have turned atheist merely because God did not answer their impersonal, sacramental, check-list prayer that lacked faith anyway. At least now their claims match the level of faith they always had. Now they can really be reached. You cannot reach someone who thought they already had faith. You cannot redeem those who are already righteous in their own eyes. At least now they are reachable.
But simply, let God be God. You be you. You, as you, come to God through Christ our redeeming mediator, and let Him be God.
Making the Bible relevant to today’s culture has relatively little to do with the music we sing or the methods we use. Relevant Christianity is believing that the God who involved Himself with the Patriarchs is the same God who involves Himself in our lives today. The Jesus that called and worked in and through the lives of the 12 disciples is the same Jesus that calls and works in and through us today. The same Holy Spirit that made apostles out of common men is the same Holy Spirit that transforms common men into bold witnesses today. This is Biblical relevance: God is the same yesterday, today, and forever.
Our application of this relevance is found in our prayers. Much of the work God did through both the patriarchs and the disciples was rather unreasonable. Many of the expectations God placed upon His people have been unreasonable. Take a series of miracles Jesus performed: fed the 5k, walked on water, calmed the water, fed the 4k, did many healings therein. But at the feeding of the 4k the disciples still didn’t get it. Jesus says “are you yet without understanding?” Our problem is, we want to understand according to human terms before having spiritual faith. We want some sort of reasonableness in our leap. We want to have a list of ways God could work it out. When the disciples doubted, it wasn’t that they were doubting Christ specifically. They were just thinking with natural minds which naturally doubt what they cannot see. And Christ rebuked them as though they were forsaking the obvious – and they were.
But we somehow justify the disciple-ness of our prayers…we neglect to be bold in asking for unreasonable things. Consider the syro-phonecian woman who asked Christ to heal her child. Christ said “no, the children need fed first. Why should I give to the dogs what is reserved for the children?” But even though the woman agreed that her request was unreasonable – Christ was the Jews’ Messiah. But she still asked, even though 1. Her request was unreasonable, and 2. Christ already said no. She had the boldness and humility to expect Christ to do something unreasonable, even after hearing “no.” This is a faithful prayer. This is a prayer coming from someone who knows far more of Christ than one who can only bring himself to request things that he finds to be reasonable.
Bringing it back to relevance, I’ve been continually challenged that even in my life, no matter how common I am, God is not limited. He still wants us to trust that He is the same God to us that did unreasonable things to those we sanctify in the Bible. They were all common men who would have no place in history if it were not for God’s work in their lives. And we would have no place in His future if it weren’t for His work in us, and because of who He is, we can be free to ask for what is unreasonable and know that He will fulfill it unto His glory. The only two reasons we have not is that 1. We don’t ask, or 2. We ask amiss – we ask stupidly and selfishly. I don’t think God is in the business of saying no all the time. We’re just faithless. We’d see a lot more yeses if we’d just ask and know that God is more desirous of His glory than we are, and more desirous to bring men to Christ than we are. More desirous to build His church than we are. More desirous to build up Christians (like us) than we are. More desirous to build up families than we are. You get the idea. The prayer of submission. Why can’t we even ask for those unreasonable things that we already know are his will? Like for our family to visibly grow in grace? For our local church to grow in grace?
Not to mention (funny…I’m mentioning it) that God rarely does things in a way that we had already mapped out ourselves. This often is a key point on which we lose faith. We didn’t see an answer, so obviously God must be silent, right? Or perhaps you’re not seeing the answer because you’re only looking down one hallway, when God worked it out down another hallway. Instead of listening for Him plainly, we listened for noise in the hallway that we thought He’d do His work in. Even if we hear noise somewhere else, we will not turn to look because of our self-imposed sovereignty. Therefore we never turned to look and see that God did the work somewhere and perhaps somehow differently than according to our prognosis. And sometimes God works in a hallway in a completely different building, so we will never see it. Just because that person didn’t get saved during your time of influence doesn’t mean they’ll never get saved. You just won’t see it happen. We too easily lose hope in what we can’t see. We too often lose hope because we impose our sense of complete comprehension upon a sovereign God.
And sometimes the answer is indeed “no” and will never see a “yes.” Does God not exist? Or does God hate us? No. Rather, though we do not understand why, these times are times in which we are to submit.
Too many people have left the faith or given up on prayer merely because they have prayed falsely. Many nominal Christians have turned atheist merely because God did not answer their impersonal, sacramental, check-list prayer that lacked faith anyway. At least now their claims match the level of faith they always had. Now they can really be reached. You cannot reach someone who thought they already had faith. You cannot redeem those who are already righteous in their own eyes. At least now they are reachable.
But simply, let God be God. You be you. You, as you, come to God through Christ our redeeming mediator, and let Him be God.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
My coworker received a "bible promise book" this past weekend and decided to bring it to work. Every once in a while he will bust it out, read a random verse, and ask me where it is in the Bible. This is pretty fun and allows for some sporadic Gospel conversations in the office, which i must say I enjoy very much. Even though I don't know most of the references, it's still nice to get a little Bible action in the office.
Just today he read 1 John 1:9, which says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." While I've heard this verse a million and a half times over my lifetime, it struck me differently today. Since I've heard it so many times it has become somewhat of a cliche verse that I just normally interpret it to mean "yes, God saves us and cleanses our sin." The focus is on me and the Father. But when I take a closer look, the verse is actually all about Christ.
What struck me was the mentioning of God's faithfulness and justice being fulfilled in FORGIVING me. The reason this struck me was that, due to my sin, God is faithful and just to CONDEMN me, not forgive me. So I was smitten with great confusion, which lead me to read the context.
Just two verses before, John says "the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." This verse does not just imply that there is a way to be cleansed. It doesn't just reveal the love of God toward us. It reveals God's passionate hatred against sin. In order for us to be cleansed, someone truly had to bare our judgment, and that was Christ. It is only because Christ took our judgment that we can be made pure. God truly is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins. He does not push aside sin just because He loves us. No, He remained faithful to Himself and His demands for purity. He remained just, as our sin received an appropriate punishment. But we do not have to be the ones baring that punishment! We are cleansed from ALL unrighteousness because of Christ's substitutionary atonement.
It is a mockery to the face of God to value our own works even the slightest bit. It is a blasphemous mockery to believe that there is yet some sin that needs to be purged during or after life. God is faithful to His demands. He is just in His judgments toward us. If we rely on ourselves or any purging work outside of Christ's sacrifice, we will receive the burning judgment of His faithfulness and justice. If we rely on Christ alone, we will receive the total cleansing of the Spirit. Christ completed the work! Don't waste His love toward you.
Just today he read 1 John 1:9, which says "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." While I've heard this verse a million and a half times over my lifetime, it struck me differently today. Since I've heard it so many times it has become somewhat of a cliche verse that I just normally interpret it to mean "yes, God saves us and cleanses our sin." The focus is on me and the Father. But when I take a closer look, the verse is actually all about Christ.
What struck me was the mentioning of God's faithfulness and justice being fulfilled in FORGIVING me. The reason this struck me was that, due to my sin, God is faithful and just to CONDEMN me, not forgive me. So I was smitten with great confusion, which lead me to read the context.
Just two verses before, John says "the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin." This verse does not just imply that there is a way to be cleansed. It doesn't just reveal the love of God toward us. It reveals God's passionate hatred against sin. In order for us to be cleansed, someone truly had to bare our judgment, and that was Christ. It is only because Christ took our judgment that we can be made pure. God truly is faithful and just to forgive us of our sins. He does not push aside sin just because He loves us. No, He remained faithful to Himself and His demands for purity. He remained just, as our sin received an appropriate punishment. But we do not have to be the ones baring that punishment! We are cleansed from ALL unrighteousness because of Christ's substitutionary atonement.
It is a mockery to the face of God to value our own works even the slightest bit. It is a blasphemous mockery to believe that there is yet some sin that needs to be purged during or after life. God is faithful to His demands. He is just in His judgments toward us. If we rely on ourselves or any purging work outside of Christ's sacrifice, we will receive the burning judgment of His faithfulness and justice. If we rely on Christ alone, we will receive the total cleansing of the Spirit. Christ completed the work! Don't waste His love toward you.
Monday, September 19, 2011
This blog is dedicated to me walking myself through an area of my life that I know needs a great amount of improvement.
I was listening to a Leadership Coaching video by Mark Driscoll, and he was discussing 4 different stages of ministry. I will discuss these in relation to church ministry first, but then make application to marriage. Please note that these stages are not all necessary.
1. Creative/Vision stage
In this stage, one sees a need, developes a goal, and attempts to make a way provide for that need through formulating methods, processes, and strategies. This stage is foundational to any growth to be had for a ministry.
2. Management stage
In this stage, the need has been recognized, the goal developed, and the means of provision have been established. Now it's time to make it happen in real life. Theory has become reality. All of those preconceived methods now have to be managed.
3. Defensive Stage
In this stage, something has gone wrong in the vision and/or management stages. But instead of managing through the mishap you decide to focus on blame. Generally you direct your focus onto someone other than yourself. This redirection (often referred to as "blame-shifting") is done by most, if now all An increasing sense of animosity arises and people become discouraged. Carrying out the original plan is now about doing a good job and avoiding mistakes rather than providing for the need. Focus has turned from an outward expression of grace to an inward preservation of self-worth. This stage is certainly not necessary.
4. Death Stage
In this stage, the vision has been abandoned. No further vision is being promoted. There is no goal in the mind of the leader or the people. There is no passion for or focus on fulfilling any real need. Perhaps previous animosity has been unrepentedly set aside in hopes it will be forgotten. Everything seems to be OK, but there is no movement. There is little life that would serve as a monument of grace. This stage is also not necessary.
Though Driscoll meant for these stages to refer to a pastor managing his church, I also apply it to marriage, specifically from the point of view of the husband. See below:
1. Creative/Vision Stage
In this stage, the husband sees the need for a need in his family. Instead of letting life take its course, he acts proactively and begins to think of ways that he can lead his family in order to fulfill this need. He takes initiative to promote spiritual, physical, financial, relational, and social health in his home. He seeks for ways to make the Gospel beautiful to his family. He plans out family devotions and initiates personal conversations with his wife and kids. He reads books on personal finance and seeks wisdom from those who have wisdom in this area. He deliberately studies and romances his wife (and plans for it ahead of time!). He makes it a habit to observe his home in order to prevent disasters and to fix things ASAP before the wife is burdened with the need to write an extensive honey-do list.
2. Management Stage
Some men are extremely good at analyzing their personal context, envisioning necessary changes and goals, and putting plans and theories down on paper. But those like me (not saying I am amazing at the above) are terrible at initiating processes and carrying them through to the end. I'd rather pass the buck at this stage. If you're like me, it's because you are afraid of making an even bigger mess. You're afraid of failure. But the lack of initiation and family management on the part of the husband causes even bigger messes in the long run. And these messes are often messes that result in misery, loneliness, unfaithfulness, and divorce. But when divorce happens, people blame the wife because she is the apparent problem because she's the one divorcing her husband. While this may be true, the husband is ultimately responsible because he wasn't a real man for her. He may have been smart and charming at first, but he had no idea how to be a well-rounded, responsible manager in real life. And those of you who are married know that women are far better at recognizing reality than men are! So it should be our continual pursuit to deal with things that are a part of real life now. Not the theoretical, sportscenter, video-gamer, news paper, internet, reality show life that we often grow content and stagnant in. Wake up. That is not "living for the future." That is living for yourself and doing only those things that you are comfortable with and reap enjoyment from with low risk of failure. Take a risk. Do some things wrong. But get involved in the real life that everyone seems to be living in except you. Wake up to the real, though perhaps accepted, burden that your wife is baring. Take it from her and lead your household. Take the finances from her. Stink at it? Me too. But learn it. It's not unreasonable to take time to study things outside of the Bible. Especially when it helps you be a Biblical man.
3. Defensive Stage
All too often couples are miserable because, when something goes wrong or someone gets hurt, noone is willing to repent. Noone is willing to take blame. The husband wants to be respected. How can I have her respect me if I am asking for her forgiveness? Then I am vulnerable. We all know vulnerable people don't ever get respect! We all know she's supposed to be the vulnerable one. So she should be the one just accepting it and getting over it. While this makes sense with the eyes of flesh, when one muses on reality he discovers he's a conceited jerk. Repent to God and your wife. It takes a real man to repent to his wife. It takes a real man to recognize how vulnerable all men are, especially since we're usually the thoughtless ones who hurt our wives. Claim it! Is your wife the more dominant and active figure in the family and therefore more susceptible to failure? That's your fault. You're the head of the family. Often when she fails, it's probably your fault because she should have never been in that situation to begin with. So stop blaming her. Claim it and treat her like the woman she is. Repent to her when it's your fault. Repent to her when she fails at something that should have been your responsibility to begin with, and then take responsibility in the future.
4. Death Stage
In this stage, your family does not enjoy each other. Nobody really sees anyone else as significant - especially not as significant as themselves. No one serves each other except in order to "keep the peace." The husband spends most of his time disconnected from his wife and kids. They may live in the same house, but they aren't really living together. They certainly find more fulfillment and acceptance with those outside their home. Their "real life" happens mostly without the other person. When they are asked to think of something positive, if they can muster a thought, their first 5 answers are things that are completely unrelated to their spouse. Neither spouse pursues the other. The question "How was your day?" is nothing but routine. You don't really care. If a number of these illustrations are true, chances are you are living in the death stage. If these were blown up and applied to a church body, that church would be as warm and exciting to attend as a funeral. How ironic. There is not much to look forward to here. And nothing will get better until you, husband, shape up your act. Nothing will get better until you personally renew your vows with God and then with your wife, and then become the responsible Christian and family man you were created to be. Until you get right with God, you will never be able to affectively return to stage 1 and 2. Who cares if you go to church as a family, or are even in the ministry! You're apparently not a very good church member/person. If you can't nail it with your family, you'll never nail it at church. And nailing it with your family is not all about nailing it at church! Get over yourself and your dreams and your vision of who you want to be. Be a husband. Be a dad. Be a person consumed by grace. let God handle the rest.
I was listening to a Leadership Coaching video by Mark Driscoll, and he was discussing 4 different stages of ministry. I will discuss these in relation to church ministry first, but then make application to marriage. Please note that these stages are not all necessary.
1. Creative/Vision stage
In this stage, one sees a need, developes a goal, and attempts to make a way provide for that need through formulating methods, processes, and strategies. This stage is foundational to any growth to be had for a ministry.
2. Management stage
In this stage, the need has been recognized, the goal developed, and the means of provision have been established. Now it's time to make it happen in real life. Theory has become reality. All of those preconceived methods now have to be managed.
3. Defensive Stage
In this stage, something has gone wrong in the vision and/or management stages. But instead of managing through the mishap you decide to focus on blame. Generally you direct your focus onto someone other than yourself. This redirection (often referred to as "blame-shifting") is done by most, if now all An increasing sense of animosity arises and people become discouraged. Carrying out the original plan is now about doing a good job and avoiding mistakes rather than providing for the need. Focus has turned from an outward expression of grace to an inward preservation of self-worth. This stage is certainly not necessary.
4. Death Stage
In this stage, the vision has been abandoned. No further vision is being promoted. There is no goal in the mind of the leader or the people. There is no passion for or focus on fulfilling any real need. Perhaps previous animosity has been unrepentedly set aside in hopes it will be forgotten. Everything seems to be OK, but there is no movement. There is little life that would serve as a monument of grace. This stage is also not necessary.
Though Driscoll meant for these stages to refer to a pastor managing his church, I also apply it to marriage, specifically from the point of view of the husband. See below:
1. Creative/Vision Stage
In this stage, the husband sees the need for a need in his family. Instead of letting life take its course, he acts proactively and begins to think of ways that he can lead his family in order to fulfill this need. He takes initiative to promote spiritual, physical, financial, relational, and social health in his home. He seeks for ways to make the Gospel beautiful to his family. He plans out family devotions and initiates personal conversations with his wife and kids. He reads books on personal finance and seeks wisdom from those who have wisdom in this area. He deliberately studies and romances his wife (and plans for it ahead of time!). He makes it a habit to observe his home in order to prevent disasters and to fix things ASAP before the wife is burdened with the need to write an extensive honey-do list.
2. Management Stage
Some men are extremely good at analyzing their personal context, envisioning necessary changes and goals, and putting plans and theories down on paper. But those like me (not saying I am amazing at the above) are terrible at initiating processes and carrying them through to the end. I'd rather pass the buck at this stage. If you're like me, it's because you are afraid of making an even bigger mess. You're afraid of failure. But the lack of initiation and family management on the part of the husband causes even bigger messes in the long run. And these messes are often messes that result in misery, loneliness, unfaithfulness, and divorce. But when divorce happens, people blame the wife because she is the apparent problem because she's the one divorcing her husband. While this may be true, the husband is ultimately responsible because he wasn't a real man for her. He may have been smart and charming at first, but he had no idea how to be a well-rounded, responsible manager in real life. And those of you who are married know that women are far better at recognizing reality than men are! So it should be our continual pursuit to deal with things that are a part of real life now. Not the theoretical, sportscenter, video-gamer, news paper, internet, reality show life that we often grow content and stagnant in. Wake up. That is not "living for the future." That is living for yourself and doing only those things that you are comfortable with and reap enjoyment from with low risk of failure. Take a risk. Do some things wrong. But get involved in the real life that everyone seems to be living in except you. Wake up to the real, though perhaps accepted, burden that your wife is baring. Take it from her and lead your household. Take the finances from her. Stink at it? Me too. But learn it. It's not unreasonable to take time to study things outside of the Bible. Especially when it helps you be a Biblical man.
3. Defensive Stage
All too often couples are miserable because, when something goes wrong or someone gets hurt, noone is willing to repent. Noone is willing to take blame. The husband wants to be respected. How can I have her respect me if I am asking for her forgiveness? Then I am vulnerable. We all know vulnerable people don't ever get respect! We all know she's supposed to be the vulnerable one. So she should be the one just accepting it and getting over it. While this makes sense with the eyes of flesh, when one muses on reality he discovers he's a conceited jerk. Repent to God and your wife. It takes a real man to repent to his wife. It takes a real man to recognize how vulnerable all men are, especially since we're usually the thoughtless ones who hurt our wives. Claim it! Is your wife the more dominant and active figure in the family and therefore more susceptible to failure? That's your fault. You're the head of the family. Often when she fails, it's probably your fault because she should have never been in that situation to begin with. So stop blaming her. Claim it and treat her like the woman she is. Repent to her when it's your fault. Repent to her when she fails at something that should have been your responsibility to begin with, and then take responsibility in the future.
4. Death Stage
In this stage, your family does not enjoy each other. Nobody really sees anyone else as significant - especially not as significant as themselves. No one serves each other except in order to "keep the peace." The husband spends most of his time disconnected from his wife and kids. They may live in the same house, but they aren't really living together. They certainly find more fulfillment and acceptance with those outside their home. Their "real life" happens mostly without the other person. When they are asked to think of something positive, if they can muster a thought, their first 5 answers are things that are completely unrelated to their spouse. Neither spouse pursues the other. The question "How was your day?" is nothing but routine. You don't really care. If a number of these illustrations are true, chances are you are living in the death stage. If these were blown up and applied to a church body, that church would be as warm and exciting to attend as a funeral. How ironic. There is not much to look forward to here. And nothing will get better until you, husband, shape up your act. Nothing will get better until you personally renew your vows with God and then with your wife, and then become the responsible Christian and family man you were created to be. Until you get right with God, you will never be able to affectively return to stage 1 and 2. Who cares if you go to church as a family, or are even in the ministry! You're apparently not a very good church member/person. If you can't nail it with your family, you'll never nail it at church. And nailing it with your family is not all about nailing it at church! Get over yourself and your dreams and your vision of who you want to be. Be a husband. Be a dad. Be a person consumed by grace. let God handle the rest.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
In a recent post by John Piper, which can be found here, he writes:
"Jesus did not say, 'True religion is converting orphans.' He did not say, 'True religion is making orphans mature and successful adults.' He said, 'True religion is visiting orphans.' Results are God’s business. Obedience is ours."
I wrote on this in a previous blog, but thought I'd resurface it since this is a very Gospel-packed passage. This surely sparked some thoughts in my chasm, or should I say, my mind.
It seems as though Piper interprets this passage to say that Christ is commanding that we visit orphans (and widows, if you read the passage). I think that taking this merely at face value will leave someone with a very dangerous outlook on religion that could lead one to forsake the Gospel altogether, though unknowingly.
The question comes down to this in my mind: Is James suggesting that true religion is performance-driven? Or is true religion performance that is Gospel-driven?
Just before this James charges the 12 tribes with the following: "for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
How do we reveal a perfect and complete faith through trials? By being steadfast. What does steadfastness look like? Look at Daniel. He knew there was a command to cease praying to any god besides the King. He knew there was a penalty for not ceasing. He didn't care. His faith in God gave him steadfastness in his LIFE. He continued praying. We see steadfastness worked out for Daniel in how he lived. And how we live is seen by what we do. So perfect steadfastness, which is a product of true faith in Christ, reveals itself in works. What is James' famous saying? "Faith without works is dead." Not that works are faith, but that faith produces works.
Just after our subject passage, James says "show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ." This is a command based on faith in Jesus Christ. It is no mistake that this issue of partiality comes directly after a charge to visit widows and orphans! Just after this he says, "If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors." What is the law? To love ones neighbor. Contrary to popular opinion, love is not essentially an action. God is love. God is not an action. But God ACTS. So love, when it is true, acts.
So back to the original question: "Is James suggesting that true religion is performance-driven? Or is true religion performance that is Gospel-driven?"
Do we have true religion when we visit orphans? Or does visitin orphans REVEAL that one has true religion? I believe it is the latter. We do not control our religion through works! Rather, we reveal our faith in Christ through our works. True religion is not essentially works. True religion is a life so consumed with the Gospel that it cannot help but to work itself out. And that, for the most needy of people - a people that can in no way recompense the service given to them. True religion is revealed when we work with no thought of self in mind. When we forsake our fleshly impulse to only do those things that we will in some way be rewarded for. We can be rewarded for our service to a church, well-off family, institution, community, and wife or husband. Not to say that true faith doesn't work for them as well. But those who are unwilling to visit orphans and widows no nothing about the Gospel. Their life is consumed by EARNING. Their life is consumed by give-and-take. Work-and-wage. This is not Gospel. Gospel living is love-and-give. It does more than just attempt to meet needs that can be preached. It cannot help but to LIVE for others. That is giving of LIFE, not just conversation. That, not as a command so as the earn grace. But as a result of realizing God's grace given abundantly to you.
Countless people sit back and read about the people in need in the newspaper or hear about them from some other source. We say "Wow, I really hope someone comes to their aid. I really hope and pray that God blesses them." But feeling this is pointless unless you live a life wherein those feelings act themselves out. Sometimes that means going to a dirty part of town, sitting on a dirty curb in front of a smoke-house, and giving a dirty, smelly guy a hug and a meal offering your aid and your Christ. Does this seem outrageous or unnecessary? Does this seem revolutionary, enlightening, or inspirting? Then you have not been consumed by the Gospel. If you had been, you'd already be doing such things. So this is the test. If this is truly more than just an elightening tale, you will go out and act. If it's nothing more than amusement, you will return to your life of anti-religion and excuses. For people wanting to go into ministry, if you're waiting until you start up your urban dream-church before you do these things, you have not yet been consumed. Being consumed affects today, not just tomorrow. I say these things partially because I'm trying to make these things real to myself. I'm not a risky guy. I'm not one to do things out-of-the-ordinary. So how about we all make a new definition for ordinary?
"Jesus did not say, 'True religion is converting orphans.' He did not say, 'True religion is making orphans mature and successful adults.' He said, 'True religion is visiting orphans.' Results are God’s business. Obedience is ours."
I wrote on this in a previous blog, but thought I'd resurface it since this is a very Gospel-packed passage. This surely sparked some thoughts in my chasm, or should I say, my mind.
It seems as though Piper interprets this passage to say that Christ is commanding that we visit orphans (and widows, if you read the passage). I think that taking this merely at face value will leave someone with a very dangerous outlook on religion that could lead one to forsake the Gospel altogether, though unknowingly.
The question comes down to this in my mind: Is James suggesting that true religion is performance-driven? Or is true religion performance that is Gospel-driven?
Just before this James charges the 12 tribes with the following: "for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing."
How do we reveal a perfect and complete faith through trials? By being steadfast. What does steadfastness look like? Look at Daniel. He knew there was a command to cease praying to any god besides the King. He knew there was a penalty for not ceasing. He didn't care. His faith in God gave him steadfastness in his LIFE. He continued praying. We see steadfastness worked out for Daniel in how he lived. And how we live is seen by what we do. So perfect steadfastness, which is a product of true faith in Christ, reveals itself in works. What is James' famous saying? "Faith without works is dead." Not that works are faith, but that faith produces works.
Just after our subject passage, James says "show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ." This is a command based on faith in Jesus Christ. It is no mistake that this issue of partiality comes directly after a charge to visit widows and orphans! Just after this he says, "If you really fulfill the royal law according to the Scripture, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself,' you are doing well. But if you show partiality, you are committing sin and are convicted by the law as transgressors." What is the law? To love ones neighbor. Contrary to popular opinion, love is not essentially an action. God is love. God is not an action. But God ACTS. So love, when it is true, acts.
So back to the original question: "Is James suggesting that true religion is performance-driven? Or is true religion performance that is Gospel-driven?"
Do we have true religion when we visit orphans? Or does visitin orphans REVEAL that one has true religion? I believe it is the latter. We do not control our religion through works! Rather, we reveal our faith in Christ through our works. True religion is not essentially works. True religion is a life so consumed with the Gospel that it cannot help but to work itself out. And that, for the most needy of people - a people that can in no way recompense the service given to them. True religion is revealed when we work with no thought of self in mind. When we forsake our fleshly impulse to only do those things that we will in some way be rewarded for. We can be rewarded for our service to a church, well-off family, institution, community, and wife or husband. Not to say that true faith doesn't work for them as well. But those who are unwilling to visit orphans and widows no nothing about the Gospel. Their life is consumed by EARNING. Their life is consumed by give-and-take. Work-and-wage. This is not Gospel. Gospel living is love-and-give. It does more than just attempt to meet needs that can be preached. It cannot help but to LIVE for others. That is giving of LIFE, not just conversation. That, not as a command so as the earn grace. But as a result of realizing God's grace given abundantly to you.
Countless people sit back and read about the people in need in the newspaper or hear about them from some other source. We say "Wow, I really hope someone comes to their aid. I really hope and pray that God blesses them." But feeling this is pointless unless you live a life wherein those feelings act themselves out. Sometimes that means going to a dirty part of town, sitting on a dirty curb in front of a smoke-house, and giving a dirty, smelly guy a hug and a meal offering your aid and your Christ. Does this seem outrageous or unnecessary? Does this seem revolutionary, enlightening, or inspirting? Then you have not been consumed by the Gospel. If you had been, you'd already be doing such things. So this is the test. If this is truly more than just an elightening tale, you will go out and act. If it's nothing more than amusement, you will return to your life of anti-religion and excuses. For people wanting to go into ministry, if you're waiting until you start up your urban dream-church before you do these things, you have not yet been consumed. Being consumed affects today, not just tomorrow. I say these things partially because I'm trying to make these things real to myself. I'm not a risky guy. I'm not one to do things out-of-the-ordinary. So how about we all make a new definition for ordinary?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)